Taking the social health science out of the lab into my living room.
After years as a die-hard audiobook fan, I recently went old school with a real, hard-back, dog-eared copy of The Art and Science of Connection by Kasey Killam.
(No, that wasn’t the experiment—that was the spark.)
As a newcomer to Charleston—and a Board-Certified Health Coach—social health had been on my mind.
One of my favorite TED Talks, Robert Waldinger’s Harvard Longevity Study, revealed that the secret sauce of happy aging is strong social relationships.
The research is clear.
The how still feels fuzzy.
Then I discovered Jeffrey Hall’s work showing it takes over 300 hours to move from acquaintance to friend—along with Killam’s practical 5-3-1 method for nurturing connection.
So I thought: What if I fused the two?
One social gathering each month, for six months.
No big productions.
Just intentional moments designed to move the needle on friendship.
Here’s what happened—and what I learned about connection and courage.
Month One: The Happy-Hour Leap
I took a deep breath, opened my calendar, and did something uncomfortable: I invited people I’d met once or twice at the Longevity Club—along with a few familiar faces.
Some snacks, a few drinks, and the quiet hope that small talk might turn into something more.
Spoiler alert: it did.
We started logging the hours that Jeffery Hall talks about in his research and watched my acquaintances begin to feel like friends.
Month Two: Women, Art & Real Talk
This gathering went deeper.
My artist friend led a multigenerational conversation about race, identity, and being a woman in today’s world. It was raw. It was honest.
Lesson: People want depth. They just need an invitation—and a safe space—to show up as themselves.
Month Three: Mocktails, Cocktails & Community
Wanting more than hallway hellos before teaching classes at Form, I invited a few clients out for drinks. It felt a bit like asking coworkers to become real-life friends.
We laughed, swapped stories, and bonded over fitness, family, and life.
Bonus realization: I’m surrounded by far more inspiring women than I realized.
It made me wonder how many friendships never begin simply because we don’t take that first brave step.
Try Your Own Social Health Experiment
You don’t need a perfect plan—just a starting point.
This month, pick one person.
Send the text. Make the call. Extend the invite.
Grab coffee. Take a walk. Host a five-minute porch chat.
That’s how connection grows: one small, slightly uncomfortable, deeply powerful moment at a time.
Because friendship doesn’t magically happen.
You build it—intentionally.
And if you’re waiting for the right time?
This is it.
If you’d like support creating your own social health experiment—or want a safe place to talk through connection, belonging, or what thriving looks like for you—I offer a complimentary call.
It’s simply a conversation, no pressure.
With warmth,
Julie
