A Personal Note:
Resilience, Loss, and the Work of Thriving
I work hard at living authentically.
And while I’m deeply passionate about the science of positive psychology, that doesn’t mean I float through life with a smile plastered on my face. The truth is, sometimes thriving is messy.
When the Internet Storm Hit
This past year brought hard hits. About a year ago, I was misrepresented online and became the target of an internet storm that left me shaken. A project I thought would be my legacy was damaged beyond repair. At times, the only peace I could find was in sleep.
The scars remain, but so does a deeper empathy for what it means to face trauma and rise again. Eventually, I realized it was time to be open to new possibilities. I didn’t have the energy to grow both a private practice and a philanthropic project. The storm closed one door but opened another.
Today, I adore my work here in Charleston and abroad, helping people thrive on a personal level.
When Love Leaves
Then, this August, we lost our family dog of 15 years. Spotty’s love was pure and unconditional, from quiet night walks to “bird’s nest” couch snuggles to his failed but joyful attempts to catch planes. His absence aches, yet his memory reminds us of what real connection feels like.
Someone once said, “Our grief is proportionate to our love.” By that measure, I wouldn’t trade a single tail wag or snuggle, even if it meant avoiding the pain of goodbye.
What Thriving Really Means
Both experiences reminded me that thriving isn’t about bypassing hardship. It’s about asking:
What can I learn?
How can I grow?
Where can I connect with others walking a similar path?
So, if you’re grieving, healing, or simply trying to find your way back to yourself, you are not alone. Thriving doesn’t always come easily. But with compassion, reflection, and resilience, it is always possible.
And in a time when the world feels heavy with division and loss, may we remember that practicing resilience is one of the most hopeful acts we can choose.
A New Tool for the Healing Journey: The Pain Journal
One practice I’ve recently added to my coaching toolbox comes from Arthur Brooks, who writes about the power of a pain journal.
It’s a structured way to process hardship while giving yourself space to discover meaning and growth over time.
Here’s how to use it:
- Set aside three lines for each entry.
- First line (today): Briefly describe the painful experience you went through and how it made you feel. Example: “I lost my job, and I’m worried about my future.”
- Second line (after one month): Come back and write about what you’ve learned as a result of the painful experience.
- Third line (after six months): Write about a good thing that happened in your life because of that experience.
This simple structure creates perspective. What feels unbearable in the moment often reveals lessons and unexpected gifts with time. The pain journal reminds us that suffering, though painful, can teach, shape, and connect us more deeply to our humanity.
A Final Reminder
Suffering, though painful, carries value; it teaches, shapes, and connects us in our shared humanity.
With warmth,
Julie
